Popup Books & Sex Fiends
by Dannie Tomlinson
Summary: I feel like such a pervert.” She says as we look through the X rated titles. “Me too.” I admit, looking at the oversized books. One catches my attention: a bright red one with a hunky guy on the cover. I check the author: L. Lolly. “Here it is.”
1. Suze

**Disclaimer**- All characters belong to the wonderfully talented Meg Cabot; I just play in the sandbox. The pop up book idea is Lolly's.

**AN**- So this is my second venture into the Mediator fandom and we'll leave it at that. ;-) Set sometime after book six.

**Pop-up Books & Sex Fiends**

**Chapter One: Suze**

"So what exactly are we doing here Simon?" Gina wants to know as we walk through the isles of our local bookstore. She glares at me. "The beach is the other way."

"We go to the beach everyday, why not try something different?" I ask before sipping my vanilla caramel mocha.

"How is this different?" Gina asks, annoyed. "There are like twenty different bookstores in Brooklyn alone, why's this one so special?"

"A friend of mine told me about this book she wrote… a pop up book."

"… I don't know who's the bigger weirdo, you, or her." She sighs. "What's the book?"

"The Pop up Book of the Male Anatomy, Scratch and Sniff Edition."

Gina chokes on her coffee. "What?"

I chuckle quietly; I think I finally stunned her. "You heard me."

"I think your friend is messing with you Suze." Gina tells me, recovering. "It sounds… different, but come on a pop up about penises?"

"Well, Lolly's kind of a sex fiend."

"Really? I had no idea…"

"Come on Gina, just help me find it and we'll go straight to the beach."

She sighs, giving in; I can tell she's curious about it. "Okay, fine." She turns and heads for the sex and erotica section. "You're such a freak Simon. And I feel like such a pervert." She says as we look through the X rated titles.

"Me too." I admit, looking at the oversized books. One catches my attention: a bright red one with a hunky guy on the cover. I check the author: L. Lolly. "Here it is." I pull it off the shelf…

… Only to have Gina snatch it out of my hands and opened it up, causing a very realistic looking penis to pop up in Gina's face. I try not to laugh… much.

She shoots me a glare then smirks wickedly. "Dare ya to scratch and sniff it."

Crap.

"C'mon Simon, you and I both know you've never turned down a dare. Unless you've changed since you hooked up with Jesse…"

"Gimme that." I grab the book from her and scratch the abnormally large anatomy. Putting the book to my nose I start to smell it.

"You must grasp zee penis!"

I drop the book and glare at Gina who's laughing like mad. "No more 'I Love the 90s' for you."

Picking up the book I scratch zee penis once more and it smells like… boysenberry?

"Well? What's it smell like?"

"Well…"

"Susannah?"

I drop the book and try not to groan as I hear my boyfriend's amused voice. "What are you doing?"

Gina, doing nothing to hide her laughter; stumbles away from us to find Dopey, who decided to wait outside.

I pick up the book and turn to Jesse, giving him an innocent smile as I hold the book out to him.

"Want some pie balls?"

**Fin**


	2. Jesse

**Disclaimer**- It all belongs to Meg.

**AN**- I really wasn't planning to write more to this but… what the hell.

**Chapter Two: Jesse**

We were supposed to go to the beach but Susannah insisted that we stop by the bookstore. I couldn't help but be amused as her friend Gina protested loudly to this. Brad opted to wait in the car while we went in. I was in need of a book for one of my classes anyway. Susannah and Gina went toward the back of the store while I headed for the medical section.

"Paulie…" The unmistakable whine of Kelly Prescott was enough to send unwanted chills down my spine. "The beach is the other way."

"This'll take just a minute babe." Slater says and I can't help but wonder if this is by chance. I want to believe Susannah when she says he's over her… but… the way he looks at her. Though I'm probably just imagining things.

Purchasing the book I need I head in the direction that Susannah and Gina had gone. Looking over the isles I catch a glimpse of Susannah's chestnut hair. I smile and walk toward them when I hear Gina exclaim loudly.

"You must grasp zee penis!"

I hear a book fall to the floor and Gina laughing. I raise an eyebrow. Grasp the what? Maybe I misunderstood her…

"No more 'I Love the 90s' for you."

I approach closer and turn into the isle they're in and find Susannah's face in a book with a large phallus sticking up. Maybe this was a bizarre dare…

"Susannah?" I couldn't keep the amusement out of my voice. She drops the book but doesn't turn. "What are you doing?"

Gina, laughing hysterically, stumbles away while Susannah picks up the book and turns to me with an innocent smile, holding it out to me.

"Want some pie balls?"

I can't help but burst out laughing at her innocent look. "_Querida_, I think you've seen that _Juno_ movie one too many times."

She just shrugs and puts the book on the shelf, but not before-

"Oh, my God! Suze Simon is a freakin' sex fiend." Kelly Prescott exclaims with pure glee. I could practically see the tiny gears in her head turning.

"Yeah, and you're an airhead who has nothing better to do but spread lies and rumors that won't last a week." Susannah snaps turning to face her classmate.

I hear Paul chuckle nearby and am now convinced that this wasn't a chance meeting. I place a hand on Susannah's shoulder. "Let's go _querida_, she's not worth it."

She nods and walks past Kelly, but not before stomping on her foot, turns out Kelly was wearing sandals today.

"Paul! Are you just going to let her get away with that?" Kelly shrieks as we walk away.

"Susannah…"

"I know: violence doesn't lead to anything." She says while tossing out her drink. "I just can't stand her most of the time… all the time"

"I know." I look over my shoulder and see Paul watching us go. "Let's go to the beach."

Gina is leaning against the car with a smug look on her face. Susannah shoots her a suspicious look. "What did you do?"

"Moil? Nothing…"

"Gina."

"Well, if you count letting the air out of Slater's tires something. He won't be following us to the beach unless Kelly wants to walk the five miles…"

I can't help but snicker as we climb in the car. "Gina, that's genius if I may say so."

"Thanks Jesse. He's a keeper Suze."

"Yeah," her gaze meets mine and she winks at me. "He is."

**Fin (?)**

**AN2**- I put the question mark up because I may or may not continue this. Depending on the muse more than anything…

_**CamFan4Ever**_


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